


SpideyPool Halloween

by Doctoring



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man/Deadpool - Joe Kelly (Comics)
Genre: Drabbles, Fic-or-Treat, Halloween, M/M, Other, Prompt Fill, no beta we die like men, one shots, ratings will vary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-15 22:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 14,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21260936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctoring/pseuds/Doctoring
Summary: A collection of drabbles and short stories about Spideypool and Halloween.Part of a mini-event hosted by thelonebamf from the Bromantic server.





	1. Guessing Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
71\. Wade struggles to figure out Peter’s favorite candy.  
2\. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

“Nope!”

“UGH! Come on!” Wade whines loudly as Peter laughs at him.

“It’s a lot more common than that. I’m surprised it’s taking you this long.”

Wade huffs aloud as he tosses the Baby Ruth bar back into their bucket of candy. Two more trick-or-treaters approach and they hand them some candy, complimenting them on their scary costumes.

“Why can’t I just tell you?”

“Because the rules _you_ stated said that we can’t dip into the candy bowl until we _both_ correctly guess each other’s favorite candy.”

Peter cocks his head towards Wade in consideration before giving him an evil smirk. “You’re just mad because I figured yours out on the second try and-”

“Oh, shut it!” Wade grumbles before angrily digging through the candy bucket. He only pauses when Peter reaches in to grab some candy for the trick-or-treaters Wade was intentionally ignoring.

“Ah-ha! Found one!” Wade waves the single-cup Reese’s in Peter’s face. “Screw you and your stupid favorite candy game, I’m snacking!”

Wade hastily unwraps the Reese’s, but before he can bring it to his mouth, Peter leans over and takes a large bite out of it. Wade gasps and stares at him in shock.

Peter sits back in his chair, chewing lazily and grinning. After he swallows, he says, “About time you figured it out.”

Wade makes a mental note to sneak all the Reese’s out of the candy bowl for Peter, before popping the crescent-shaped remains of his own peanut butter cup into his mouth.

.end.


	2. Not Part of the Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
210\. Aunt May catches Peter coming home as Spiderman, but it’s Halloween.

** _CRASH_ **

A string of profanity falls from his lips as he hastily grabs the lamp to stop it from crashing to the ground, unlike everything else that was once on the nightstand. He quickly tries to put back everything in its proper place, shifting through the mess that was already on the floor, he hears the footsteps.

_Oh, oh no, not-_

“Peter, is that you?”

He quickly looks over at the desk and spots the two DVDs that were forgotten. He rushes over, snatching them up. As he turns to make a break for the window, the door opens slowly.

_OH FUCK ME._

“Are you alright? I heard a-” Aunt May freezes and stares at him. “Peter, why are you dressed as Spider-Man? I mean, I know why, it’s Halloween, but I thought you went out tonight dressed as Captain America…?”

_I mean…_

All he could do was shrug then inch towards the window. Aunt May’s eyes narrowed in the dark, then quickly shifted towards the window as the curtains moved with the breeze.

“Don’t tell me you came in through the window!”

_Fuck it, I gotta go before I fuck all this up._

He dives for the window, but since he wasn’t quite close enough, he ends up just splaying across the sill of it, scrambling to crawl out.

“Peter! Please be careful! And use the door when you come home tonight!”

“OKAY!” he shouts as he tumbles out of the window onto the fire escape. He races away without looking back, trying to stick to the shadows as much as possible.

When he nears his destination, he sprints to catch the door before it closes on him, slamming his hand against it- as he steps inside the apartment. The person who had just entered the apartment before him spins on their heels. He chuckles softly at the terrified expression Peter gives him, standing there holding two pizzas atop his plastic Captain America shield.

“The hell you think you’re doing Wade?”

Wade pulls the Spider-Man mask off his face before holding up the DVDs. “My end of the game plan.”

“We wouldn’t need a _game plan_ if you had just taken off your mask so we could go into the pizza parlor.”

“But that ruins the illusion!” Wade said for the fifth time that night, peeling off the gloves from his bargain bin Spider-Man costume.

He then goes to set up for their last-minute zombie movie double feature night, ready to annoy Peter with his usual flirting.

_Oh! But now I can totally do that cliché fake yawn as I put my arm-_

“You didn’t have any trouble getting them, right?”

“Nah, no trouble at all, but you will have to explain to Aunt May later why you randomly returned dressed as Spider-Man in the middle of the evening.”

“SHE SAW YOU!?”

“Eh, it was dark, so barely.”

Wade smiled broadly as he headed back to the couch, plopping down next to Peter who was cradling his head in his hands.

“I can’t believe you-”

“Oh, and make sure you use the door this time. She was highly upset with you.”

Wade laughed loudly at Peter’s groan.

.end.


	3. Post-Break-Up Catharsis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
44\. Wade convinces Peter to egg Harry’s house after a particularly bad break-up.  
41\. TP-ing a house, Deadpool style

“Dude, it’s been two weeks now, I thought you said you were over him?” Wade hoped his voice didn’t sound as anxious as he felt. When he heard that Peter and Harry had finally broke up, he thought he’d finally have a chance.

_But if he’s heartbroken or has feelings for him, then-_

“I _am_ over him, but I’m not over the break-up.”

“Huh?”

Peter ran a hand down his face in frustration. “Him. I’m over him. There will never be an ‘us’ because I never want _him_ in my life again. But I’m still so pissed about the break-up. He said some… some shit… and-nevermind, it’s stupid.”

“The fuck did he say?” Wade asked casually as he picked up another piece of candy from the bowl. Peter chuckles as Wade distractedly pops it into his mouth and promptly spits it out, realizing he was too focused on Peter to remember to unwrap it first.

“It’s nothing. I’m just… overreacting.”

“You’re not one to overreact. Especially for two whole weeks. What did he say?”

When he was met with silence, Wade glances over at Peter. He head was turned away slightly, but Wade could still see that his eyes were screwed shut. Peter’s lips quiver right before he swallowed audibly.

Wade couldn’t take it anymore. They were supposed to be enjoying a night in watching animated Halloween films. But instead they were sitting at the kitchen table, downing beers between awkward pauses in forced conversation, all because Harry had said _something_ that’s apparently still eating away at Peter.

“The fuck. Did he. Say,” Wade gritted through his teeth.

Peter peeks his eyes open at Wade. “You know why I wanted to break-up with him, right?”

“Right.”

“And you know how I said it ended up being a mutual break-up?”

“Uh, yeah, but what did he say?”

With a heavy sigh, Peter started to rush out the other half of the break-up he failed to tell Wade about. “Well, apparently, he was a little pissed at me for what I said, even though it was all true, and decided to unleash his true feelings about me. Like how he found me annoying recently and it was I who drove him away like that. And that I’ll always be alone. And that he never really loved me because I’m un-loveable and-”

“Shut it!” Wade shouted as he stood up from the table, reaching over and grabbing Peter by the face. “Shut it right now! You’re not ‘_unloveable’_ and I-” Wade manages to cut himself off for the first time ever, just before he ruined what little progress he was making with Peter. He hesitantly removes his hand from Peter’s face, regretting his decision as soon as he sees Peter’s eyes follow the retreating hands, a small frown appearing on his face.

“Harry is a dirty liar and we are going to let you work through this frustration while having some Halloween fun of our own.”

“What do you mean?”

Wade rushes to the fridge, pulling out two 18-count cartons of eggs. “Good things I got distracted while buying Halloween candy this morning. Now, before you say anything, I really think you need to-”

“You seriously want to egg his house?”

“Hey! Don’t say anything! Just hear me out. I think you-where are you going?” Wade shoulders slump as Peter heads towards the front door.

Peter turns, giving him a confused look. “I’m grabbing my coat so we can go egg Harry’s place.”

Wade rushes to hand the eggs over to Peter, explaining that he had a few more things to grab.

On the way there, Peter explained that Wade was not to throw a single egg himself. This was for Peter’s post-break-up emotions and if they were caught, he didn’t want Wade to have any blame.

And Wade complies. He just sits back and watches as Peter angrily empties out an entire carton. With a few, Wade could barely hear Peter talking to himself, all of the statements starting with “And that’s for…” With the last few eggs, the emotions were clear on his face, but he didn’t look as bad as he did earlier that night when they were sitting around the kitchen table.

As he starts to work on the second carton, Peter seems to be doing it more out of vindictive fun than broken-heartedness, so Wade assumes he can bring out his own special treat for Harry.

Before Wade could finish setting up, Peter turns to him. “Hey, do you think-… what the hell is that?”

Wade quickly stands up and poses with his new weapon. “I modified a t-shirt cannon. Now it’s a toilet paper cannon.”

Before Peter could say anything, Wade blasts a roll of toilet paper over the roof of Harry’s home. It unraveled as it flew and eventually draped across the front of the house.

“Dude. Gross. It’s sticking to the eggs.”

“That’s the point,” Wade said wickedly.

As Peter finished emptying out the carton, now laughing, Wade continued to TP the house, thinking of his own “And that’s for…” statements regarding Harry.

Before either boy could finish, the porch light turned on.

“Fuck it!” Wade shouted, tossing the last two rolls by hand into the tree right next to him. He then grabs Peter’s hand and they make a break for it, running most of the way back to Wade’s apartment. With only a block to go, Wade stops in his tracks and jerks his head towards the store next to them.

“I should probably get some more toilet paper and food for breakfast since that was literally all of it.”

Peter laughed and lead the way into the store, finally letting go of Wade’s hand.

Wade glances down at his hand, flexing it. _Maybe next year we can reminisce about delinquent Petey as we’re on our own Halloween date. Oh! Maybe we can even-_

“Hey, you coming?”

Wade looks up at Peter. His eyebrows are quirked but he’s giving him that half-smirk that breaks Wade’s heart every time. As he steps closer, Peter grabs a red toy pitchfork from the costume supply next to him. He holds it in both hands, jabbing in Wade’s direction before laughing heartily at Wade’s exaggerated reaction, clutching at his gut as he cries out about being shot.

_Yeah, definitely gotta be dating him by next Halloween._

.end.


	4. Trick-or-Taco Bell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
30\. Wade gets handfuls of Taco Bell sauce packets in his trick-or-treat bag.

Peter and Wade head out a bit later than most for trick-or-treating. This should up their chances of people being tired and just wanting to get rid of the candy, even to other adults, rather than turning them away for not being kids.

So far it’s working out well, and Wade gets excited by the weight of his candy bag, shaking it every few houses and declaring things like “that’s definitely a full-sized candy bar” and “feels like a sugar-induced coma tonight.”

Peter just grins and allows Wade to continue dragging him along. He originally wanted to stay home and watch TV while finishing off an entire pizza, but seeing Wade this excited was sure worth it. Well, worth being forced into his old Spidey-suit, not so much dealing with a few chides from neighbors about how he had too much of a gut to really be Spider-Man.

But Wade loved Peter’s belly, which almost made him feel bad about the trick he was currently pulling on Wade. Almost, but not quite enough to stop him.

At one particular house, the resident dumped what remained of the candy bowl between their two bags before sleepily bidding them a ‘Happy Halloween’ and turning off the porch light as they went inside. Wade was ecstatic about the sudden increase in candy loot, and rushes to the curb to pop a squat so he could riffle through his bag. Peter slowly sat beside him, ready to see his trick come to fruition.

As Wade holds up a handful of candy, Peter was trying to hide his grin under the guise of rubbing at his 5 o’clock shadow. He struggled to suppress a laugh at Wade’s sudden crestfallen face as he noticed the two Taco Bell sauce packets mixed in with his sweets.

“What kind of _sick_ heathen would do this?”

With his other hand, Wade dug through the bag, pulling out more and more sauce packets. Peter started rocking back and forth, his laughter ready to break free.

“WHO THE FUCK DID THIS? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY?”

Peter couldn’t help it anymore and chortled loudly. Wade snapped his head towards him.

“It was _you_. You fucking asshole!” Wade stood up and started pelting him with the sauce packets. “How could you ruin Halloween like this? Tainting it with such _filth_. I can’t believe-”

Peter lazily covers his face with his arms as he stands, shushing Wade.

“C’mon, it was just a harmless prank.”

“_Harmless?_ You really believe Taco Bell is harmless!?”

Peter swats at the last sauce pack Wade throws at him, before leaning in and kissing Wade on the cheek. At most they’ve hugged, and Wade likes to grab his hand and hold it, as well as finding other excuses to touch him. So Peter wasn’t sure what compelled him to suddenly kiss Wade, but it felt _right_ to him, albeit it a bit embarrassing for him to do something so affectionate out of nowhere.

When he leans back, he sees Wade blushing and opening his mouth to speak, but Peter didn’t want to be embarrassed further so he quickly cut him off.

“I’m sorry… for tricking you like that. How about I _treat_ you to anything you want from the next food truck we see?”

As Wade stares at him, Peter feels his own face heating up and suddenly wished he had picked out a costume with a mask.

“Yeah, sounds good, after you _tainted_ my loot bag.”

Peter snorts out a brief laugh and leads the way down the street.

Wade starts talking about how he hopes the next food truck is authentic Mexican food, to truly make up for Peter’s transgressions, and what kind of meal he plans to get. But in reality, Wade would much rather get another kiss, even if it means spending half the night picking out Taco Bell sauce packets from his candy bag.

.end.


	5. Face Paint and Fake Noses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
72\. First kiss. Makeup and prosthetics pose a challenge

“I can’t believe you actually put on a prosthetic nose,” Peter shook his head, watching Wade struggle to tip his beer can up since his fake witch’s nose was in the way.

With a loud huff, Wade shoves the can at Peter before snatching his beer bottle from him. He manages to successfully take a swig before saying, “Look who’s talking, half the time you can’t even shave or put on a clean shirt, but today you got the full Gene Simmons face going on.” Wade glances down at his legs before continuing. “Say, did you also paint the leather pants when you were painting your face?”

Peter suddenly felt a bit self-conscious, worried that his pants looked as uncomfortably tight as they felt, but then Wade leaned back, clearly staring at Peter’s ass. Before Peter could say something, Wade stood back upright, humming happily before taking another swig of beer.

The two went back to mingling with the crowd separately, though Peter did find himself sneaking glances around the room, looking for Wade, who wasn’t hard to find. He was tall and the witch’s hat made him even easier to spot. Plus, he was loud.

_And obnoxiously and always flirting and bothering me and… and why do I always want to kiss him?_

After another hour of drinking and joking around with friends, Peter realized he couldn’t find Wade in the crowd anymore. He excused himself to go get another drink, taking the scenic route around the house, but struggling to find him. He shrugs it off as he pours himself another jack and coke, almost spilling it when someone suddenly wrapped their arms around him from behind.

“THE HELL-”

“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Peter shuddered against the familiar voice, soft and far too close to his ear. He awkwardly tried to spin around to face, Wade letting go to allow the movement, but still keeping himself entirely too close.

“What are you doing, Wade?”

Peter regretted doing full face paint earlier that night when he started to sweat, but currently, he was hoping there was still plenty left to cover his blush.

Wade purses his lips before carefully placing a hand on Peter’s face. “Nothing. Was just trying to find my favorite rock star.”

Peter was used to Wade’s flirting, but not when it was so _physical_.

“How much did you have to drink?”

“I finished your beer. That’s it.” Wade brought up his other hand, shaking the water bottle that was in it for emphasis. “So you can’t blame alcohol on this.”

Before Peter could ask Wade what he meant, Wade tilted his head, leaning in, and promptly poked him just under the eye with his fake nose. Peter recoiled back, placing a hand to his cheek. Peter hears Wade drop the water bottle just before he holds Peter by the back of the neck. He tilts his head more, this time in the other direction, slowly closing his eyes, and Peter finally realizes what was going on.

_Holy shit! He’s trying to kiss-_

Wade’s fake nose presses uncomfortable to Peter’s other cheek. He can feel the ghost of Wade’s breath on his lips, but that’s it. Wade groans in frustration as he pulls back. Peter laughs at the black and white smears of face paint now on Wade’s nose.

Wade grabs the fake nose with both hands, jerking it from side to side until he manages to rip it off. He then angrily tosses it into the kitchen sink.

As soon as he turns back around, Peter gently grabs him by the face and kisses him. Wade pulls him closer and sighs happily into the kiss.

They make out briefly before they hear a sound. They break apart and turn towards the source, spotting a drunk guy stumbling into the kitchen for another beer. He doesn’t even spare them a glance before tossing his bottle into the bin, popping open another one.

Peter was about to fumble out an excuse just in case but finds himself unable to when he turns back towards Wade. Wade had already looked funny, the sealing edges of the prosthetic nose still on his face, framing his real nose. But now there’s white face paint smeared on his face, particularly around his mouth.

_There’s no way we can go back to the party without everyone knowing._

Peter struggled to find a way to let Wade know that he should probably wipe his face off, when Wade softly kisses him again.

When he pulls back, he says, “Do you still feel like making small talk with these people, or would you rather go grab some burgers and watch a Tim Burton film at my place?”

“Burgers and a movie sounds nice.”

_Especially if more kissing will be involved._

.end.


	6. Campus Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt  
48\. Peter can’t celebrate Halloween because of classes, so Wade brings the party to him.

Peter knew all his friends had big Halloween plans. Parties, free food on campus, little get-togethers, bar hopping, etc. But unfortunately for him, he didn’t have time to celebrate. Between lectures, labs, grading papers, and homework that was due at midnight, Peter could barely spend a half hour here and there to acknowledge the holiday.

After his morning meeting with his advisor, he receives a text from Wade asking him about his schedule. Peter sends all his complaints to him, wishing he could go celebrate, and eventually asking if Wade is free tomorrow for a little post-Halloween Halloween celebration, admitting that it won’t be the same, but it’ll be better than nothing. He started to regret the message when he sees that Wade started to reply back, but then never does. He checks his phone intermittently during his three hour class, but there was still no reply.

_God, why did I ask that? That’s so lame. Complaining about Halloween like a little kid that thinks they shouldn’t have to go to school that day._

Peter knew it was because he loved the holiday and was also desperate to spend more time with his crush, especially after not seeing him for nearly two weeks, but he forced himself to put all the blame on not looking forward to such a long school day.

When class was finally over, Peter checked his phone one last time, but there was still no reply. He sighs softly to himself and starts typing up a follow-up text, trying to dismiss the previous suggestion. However, he hears a commotion out in the hall, and decides to investigate.

As he leaves the room, he quickly spots the reason for his classmates to make such a racket. There was a large door in the middle of the hallway, facing his classroom door. Some students were peeking around it, and a hand darted out, swatting at them to get back. Peter would recognize that scarred hand anywhere.

He couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face as he rolled his eyes and shouted, “Wade, what the hell are you doing?”

“Shh! Just knock on the door!”

A student closer to the door hesitantly reaches up, and knocks quietly. Wade spins the door as if opening it and Peter could barely suppress the laughter of seeing Wade dressed like an elderly woman.

Before he could ask what he was doing, Wade starts passing out candy to the students, struggling to hold up the door in the process. He starts cooing over Peter’s classmates, saying he loved their “exhausted graduate student costume” and the like.

Peter hung back, waiting for the rest of the class to get their candy before approaching Wade and the door. When he finally did, Wade shoves a handful of candy towards him and says, “Oh! And yours is the best! You look like a student who is sadly deprived of celebrating Halloween and should probably get some Halloween-themed lunch.”

Peter shakes his head. “Thanks for doing this. Seriously, man. But sadly I only have 30 minutes until lab and have already bought a sandwich for lunch.”

Wade almost drops the door on the both of them as he reaches down and picks up an orange pumpkin pail. “This lunch?”

Peter stares at the sub sandwich sticking out of the pail. “Did you seriously break into my office to steal me my own lunch?”

“Uh, no, it was unlocked because your office mate was there, but he did try to call security on me when I started pilfering through the fridge.”

Peter takes the pail from him and leads the way towards the far end of the hall. They sit together on the bench and eat lunch together as Peter eyes the door propped up on the other side. He wants to ask about it, but knew he wouldn’t like the answer.

After lunch, Peter thanks him again for cheering him up before leaving for lab. Peter’s mood was still riding the momentum of Wade’s creative solution to Peter’s Halloween dilemma when lab ended, so he didn’t expect to see another door in the hall again. This time it was a screen door, frame included, so Wade had an easier time keeping it propped up as he handed out candy to the students leaving the lab.

As Peter approached with his hands already up and ready to receive some candy, Wade scowled at him. “Aren’t you a bit old to be trick-or-treating?”

Peter slumped, dropping his hands to his side. “Seriously, dude? You’re really gonna-”

“Fine! Fine!” Wade huffs grabbing another handful of candy, but he doesn’t hand it to Peter. Under his breath he says, “I gotta leave on a mission soon, so if your offer to have a ‘post-Halloween Halloween’ celebration can wait two more days, then-”

Peter is embarrassed at how fervently he nods. “Yeah, of course!”

“Fine. You can have some candy then,” Wade snarks, finally handing it over.

As Wade hands out candy to the rest of the student passing by, Peter stands there, munching on skittles, and joking around with Wade about all the weird looks he received for dressing as an older lady and dragging a screen door across campus. But soon Wade gets a call and has to rush off.

That was the last bit of Halloween celebration for that day for Peter, but he was fine by it. He’d much rather miss out on the festivities with his friends if it meant getting to hang out with Wade later that weekend.

.end.


	7. Zero Effort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
202\. Wade insists on his costume being an abstract costume like “communism,” or “the plight of the modern janitor,” or “the feeling you get after eating a perfect slice of pizza.”  
203\. Slutty Halloween costumes. The dumber the better.

“Wade, come on, you gotta do better than that! Everyone else is dressing up. In _real_ costumes.”

“This is a real costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. Not my fault they look like everyone else.”

“You totally stole that from Addams family.”

“So?”

Peter just glares at him.

“Fine, fine, how about this?” Wade grabs an umbrella propped up by the door.

“What are you going for this time?”

Wade then throws the umbrella down and says, “The disregard for inclement weather!”

“Wade!”

“Ugh! There’s just no pleasing you!” Wade then looks around and Peter just _knows_ he’s going to grab a random item and come up with yet another effortless and insufficient costume idea. Instead, Wade lays across the couch, pulling up his shirt a bit, and rubbing at the exposed part of his stomach. Peter feels himself blush at the sight, having spent quite a few evenings thinking about touching that bit of skin himself. Wade stares at him as he quietly asks, “How about this?”

Peter awkwardly clears his throat. “W-what, um… what are you now?”

“The feeling you get after eating a perfect slice of pizza.” Wade hums softly to himself as he rubs his stomach some more.

Closing his eyes, Peter breathes out a sigh. “Wade. Please-”

“Oh! I got it!”

Peter peeks his eyes open to see Wade jump up from the couch before bending down and rolling up the bottom of his jeans. He stands upright and poses in front of Peter.

“And this is?”

“A slutty Mennonite!”

Peter pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t… I don’t think that’s… Do Mennonites even have a thing for ankles or is that the-”

“Doesn’t matter, as long as it’s _slutty_!” Wade then unbuttons the top of his shirt, pulling at the collar to expose more of his chest and shoulders. “I’d have the whole community in an uproar over this.”

Wade’s grin faulters when Peter gives him a displeased look. “Please take this a bit more seriously. I’ve already agreed to go to that new restaurant across town with you if you came to the party with me. What more do you want?”

“I want you to call it a date.”

Peter’s breath catches in his throat and he starts coughing. He tries to suppress it to scold Wade for making unnecessary jokes like that, but finds himself unable to do so with the stern look Wade was giving him.

“You want me to call it a… a date?”

Wade nods. “I’ll go as a freaking slutty teapot or whatever you want, instead of a Mennonite with pants cuffs or the realization that we only work to afford paper towels. Just… Just say we are going on a date, not just grabbing dinner as friends.”

Peter feels a bit dizzy at the sudden turn of events. He’d been crushing on Wade for quite some time now, and Wade’s constant flirting was no help. But he always assumed that that was just how Wade joked around. He never thought Wade actually meant anything about it.

Wade looks away and laughs nervously. “I was just kidding. You don’t have to-”

“No! No, sorry! I just…” Peter swallows the lump in his throat. “Yeah, sure, we can go on a _date_ this Saturday. But only if you actually put in effort for your costume for our _date_ tonight.”

Wade glances back over at Peter, a small smile creeping onto his face. “Seriously?”

Peter bites his lip while grinning before he nods.

Wade grabs his hand and rushes them out of his apartment. “Okay! Let’s see what costumes are left at the store!”

Peter laughs before asking, “What about the slutty teapot?”

Wade looks back at him, smirking, before pulling Peter closer and linking their fingers together. “I can still do that, but I was actually thinking about one of those glass teapots, so my costume would essentially just be a giant tea bag covering my dick, and I’m sure you don’t want to bust me out of jail for indecent exposure.”

“Uh… right… maybe just a bit more coverage than that.”

Wade starts rambling about what costumes he hopes was still available, but Peter spent a good chunk of the evening thinking about the slutty teapot costume.

_I wonder how many dates it will take to see that, tea bag optional._

.end.


	8. I choose you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
46\. Accidentally wearing a couples costume.

“Peter, please tell me you guys didn’t plan this on purpose,” Tony gritted through his teeth.

He was just chatting about the latest mission when suddenly Tony grabbed him by his arm and pulled him around the corner. Peter felt a bit nervous at the angry glare Tony was giving him.

“Plan what? The Avenger's Tower Halloween party? I thought you planned that, so-”

“You know what I’m talking about!” Tony half-shouted, flicking at the baseball cap of Peter’s Ash Ketchum costume.

Peter flinches and then readjusts his hats. “I swear I don’t know!”

Tony grabs his arm and pulls him back around the corner, just far enough to point at someone at the far side of the room. Peter had never expected to see Wade in the Avengers Tower without all the stops pulled out to get him out of there. And he had especially never expected to see Wade dressed as Pikachu, with the ears headband and the red dots painted on his cheeks.

“I know I should have never invited him,” Tony mumbled under his breath. “I didn’t realize he was already such influence in your life. When did you two become friends?”

Peter stutters a bit before holding up his Pikachu plushie that he was carrying around. “I assure you, I have my own Pikachu. Him being dressed as one is purely accidental.”

Tony considers him for a minute before giving his usual warning about the former mercenary. Peter nods along like he’s expected to, but he doesn’t really see Tony’s issue with him.

_Yeah, he’s rough around the edges, very rough at times, but he’s not a bad guy. At least, not from what I can tell from the few times we’ve patrolled together._

Peter just shrugs it off and continues to enjoy the party. He doesn’t really think about it much, not until Wade started appearing next to him suddenly, prompting others to compliment them on their costumes, or asking why Ash has two Pikachus.

Previously, Peter suppressed feelings of attraction towards Wade, but with everyone assuming they were dressed like this intentionally, either as friends or a couple, Peter felt himself wishing it were true. This feeling quickly passes when Peter overhears Tony pulling Wade aside to scold him as per usual.

Wade eventually found his way back to Peter, and said, “Well, one of us clearly has got to change before the Party on Clint’s farm this weekend.”

“Oh, not a problem, I bought a second costume.”

“You did? Well, what is it?”

Between Wade’s wicked grin and Tony glaring at them from across the room, Peter assumed it was best not to tell him. But that’s okay, Wade was already formulating a plan around Peter’s silence since Peter wasn’t the only one enjoying people’s assumption that they were together.


	9. Honey Buns Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
47\. “Accidentally” wearing a couples costume.

During the cookout at Clint’s farm, Peter played lawn games with a few of the Avengers while sipping beers. He was enjoying his time with them without having to fight bad guys, but still found himself distracted. Namely, he was looking for someone dressed like Pikachu.

About thirty minutes passed, but there was still no sign of Wade, and Peter felt a bit disappointed. He wanted to text him to see if he was still coming, but he didn’t have his number.

_Maybe I should ask for it, so we can meet up for patrols intentionally, not just accidentally run into each other. Oh, hell, but if I ask, he’s going to tease me about it and start flirting again… not that that would be a problem, but-_

Peter lost all focus when a car pulls up and Bruce and Wade step out of the vehicle.

“Thanks for the ride, Dr. Banner!” Wade called out over his shoulder as he sprinted towards the party, leaving Bruce behind.

Peter watches as Wade grabs a beer from the cooler and casually walks around. He suddenly turns towards Peter and stops walking. Slapping a hand across his chest, Wade gasps and says, “You have _got_ to be kidding me!”

Peter wasn’t sure if people were going to make the same assumption or not this time around. Yes, their couples costume were of an actual couple this time, but the quality was clearly different. Peter had invested well into his Han Solo costume. Wade, however, simply had a white bed sheet tied as a dress with two honey buns, still in the wrapper, taped haphazardly to the side of his head.

If it weren’t for Leia’s signature hairstyle and Peter’s own costume, some of the other Avengers might not have known what Wade was dressed as. However, every last one of them knew, and kept joking about their couple’s costume along with coming up with theories about why Wade’s costume was so terribly made. The theories ranged from Wade being too big to find one that fit him, how he might have gotten blood on his original costume, to a dozen others. And each time, both boys just denied it, pretending like this really was planned.

Later, Wade jogs up to Peter as he’s reaching into the cooler for another beer.

“Hey, Petey, how about I get your number so we can plan a few more patrols?”

Peter looks up to see Wade already holding out his phone. He nods and starts typing his number into Wade’s phone. “I was actually thinking about asking you the same thing later.”

Wade gives him a wicked grin. “Oh really?”

“Uh, yeah, I mean-”

“Wade, did you forget your costume at home and had to piece it together last minute?” Bruce asked as he was walking by.

“No, of course not!”

“Uh, huh. So you didn’t call me for a ride outside of the convenience store after buying your honey bun hair?” Bruce pauses to give him a smirk.

“SHUSH!”

Wade turns back to Peter as he hands him back his phone. “Is that what happened?”

“Not quite. I actually didn’t have a second costume at all. Just came to the farm early to see what you were wearing before sneaking off to put this together.” Wade courtesies with his bed sheet dress before leaning over further to grab a beer from the cooler.

“Are… are you freaking serious!?” Peter exclaimed loud enough to cause a few others to look their way.

Wade stands and winks at him. “Oh, like you didn’t also like all the attention too! You gotta admit we do look cute together.”

Wade saunters off, shouting something at Clint before Peter can respond. Instead he just watches Wade walk away, dwelling on the last thing he said.

_I mean, he’s not wrong._

.end.


	10. Cereal Debate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
194\. Peter and Wade arguing over which cereal is better, Boo Berry or Count Chocula

“Honey, I’m home!” Wade shouts as he throws the door open, shuffling in with a grocery bag in each arm.

“That’s nice,” Peter calls back, smirking when he realizes his comment would definitely mean Wade will soon find him and complain about his lack of enthusiasm.

Sure enough, within seconds Peter hears Wade stomping towards the bathroom. “Excuse you!”

Peter finishes washing off the residual shaving cream from his face before looking up in the mirror. He sees Wade scowling from him behind. Peter ignores him for a second, to examine his hair, sighing at the specks of white and gray he can see.

“Is this how you really choose to greet me when I decide to go out to get ingredients so I can slave away to make you breakfast?”

Peter rolls his eyes. “I don’t think putting bread or poptarts into the toaster really constitutes as slaving away.”

“Excuse you! I had a much more elaborate breakfast planned. There was going to be _two_ whole ingredients this time, thank you very much!”

Peter laughs at how Wade dramatically huffs out of the bathroom. He thinks about Wade’s comment before shouting after him. “So… Cereal with milk?”

“Yeah, but it’s _seasonal_!”

Peter didn’t know what Wade meant by that and decided to forgo the rest of his morning routine to investigate. He walks into the kitchen just in time to see Wade pull a giant box of Boo Berry cereal from the paper bag.

“Boo Berry? Seriously!?”

“Of course! It’s only the best General Mills Halloween cereals ever!”

“I don’t know who misinformed you or if you’ve just been deprived all these years, but that title definitely goes to Count Chocula.”

Wade sets two bowls down onto the counter a bit too firmly before spinning back around towards Peter. “Are you still fucking with me?”

“Uh, no. I definitely was about your return this morning, but not about Count Chocula. I’m serious about that cereal.”

Wade sighs and shakes his head. “When was the last time you had Boo Berry?”

“Uh, years ago, back when I realized it was inferior to Count Chocula.”

Wade pours them both a bowl before he says, “Well, your taste buds were idiotic back then. Try it again and see if they can get it right this time.”

Peter shrugs and takes a seat at the table. He takes a few bites. Apparently, taking more than one bite was a sign to Wade that Boo Berry was indeed the better cereal.

“What are you smirking about?”

“Oh, nothing, just the fact that you now realize you’re wrong.”

“I’m not wrong. I’m just aware of the fact that you didn’t get any other cereal so I might as well eat this. But at least now I know that Count Chocula is indeed better than this mess.”

Wade stares at him blankly before slowly shaking his head. “I can’t believe I share a bed with such an idiot.”

“How am I the idiot!? The people who called this ‘Boo Berry’ are clearly the idiots. What’s this even supposed to taste like? Because it’s certainly not blueberries.”

For the next week, the two continue to debate over which cereal tasted better, even on mornings where they didn’t have cereal.

A few days after Halloween, Peter goes grocery shopping with Wade. As they approach the cereal aisle, Peter says, “We’re getting Count Chocula this time.”

“_You_ can get Count Chocula, with your unsophisticated palette, but me and my refined tastes will stick to Boo Berry, thank you very much.”

Peter just shakes his head as Wade continues to taunt him. But soon, Wade trails off, around the same time Peter notices the shelf of leftover Halloween cereals. They stand there in the middle of the aisle, just staring at the shelf, before both men leave the aisle, not picking up any cereal boxes.

As they enter the next aisle, Wade says, “We may not agree on which one is the best, but at least we both know that Franken Berry is absolute garbage.”

“Agreed.”

.end.


	11. Still Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
4\. Dental supplies in the trick-or-treat bag  
16\. Full-sized candy bars.

Peter had decided to help Aunt May’s church group make Halloween treat bags for the local foster home. However, he hadn’t realized he double-booked himself until they were walking out the door right when Wade showed up. Aunt May headed to the car as Peter tried to explain the situation. Peter only managed to get a few words out before Wade shouted, “Sounds like fun! Shotgun!” and bolted for the car.

Not long after they arrive, one of the church ladies told each person where to sit placing Wade between Aunt May and Peter after giving him the once over. More than once. She soon calls everyone’s attention to the front of the room. As she started to describe how the assembly line system should work, Wade leaned over and whisper to Aunt May.

“So is that ‘Dictator Diane’ or just some-”

Peter barely sees Aunt May swat at Wade. Peter leans over to look at her, seeing her nodding and smirking at Wade before looking back towards Diane. He suddenly realized that Aunt May and Wade had to have been talking without Peter there for him to already know about all the people in the church Aunt May has beef with.

_Shoot. Aunt May must already approve of him if she’s gossiping with him… Maybe… just maybe she’d be okay with me going out with him. I mean, I have to find out if he’s even interested first, but-_

“Seriously? Dental supplies?” Wade complains loudly as he opens the box in front of him, the box of supplies he was supposed to fill the treat bags with as they’re passed to him.

Diane gives him a stern look before saying, “Yes. _Dental supplies_. Sometimes the basic necessities are hard to come by for these poor, _poor_ kids, so we must do what we can to help them out.”

Wade leans over, looking at the other supplies to be packed. More dental supplies, a comb, pencils, erasers, pens, and at the very end of the assembly line, a bowl of tiny bite sized candy. Wade props his arms up on the table, placing his fingertips together just in front of his face as he gives Diane a long, pensive stare.

“So this is what we’re giving the kids for Halloween. Basic supplies and the minimal amount of sweets.”

Diane nods firmly and starts to open her mouth to speak, but Wade cuts her off.

“You do realize these are _kids_, right? And they still expect typical holiday traditions most other kids get to do?”

“But somethings life does not-”

Wade suddenly stands and walks out of the room. Diane starts to say something completely uncalled for, but Aunt May cuts her off with a glare and a deliberate cough.

Peter didn’t know why Wade was so upset about the trick-or-treat bags, but he did agree with him. He hated getting dental supplied, pennies, fruit, and other such things that weren’t candy when he trick-or-treated as a child. He thought about running after Wade, but soon received a text from him stating:

_I’ll be back soon. Gotta fix this._

Peter wasn’t sure what he meant, not until Wade barged back into the room, carrying several groceries bags. He took them to the end of the assembly line and started undoing the ties on all the treat bags. Diane started protesting but soon the other church ladies began helping him. Peter stood up to get a better look and saw them putting two whole full-sized candy bars into each bag.

“As a former foster kid, let me tell you that _normal_ holidays can boost morale for quite some time, especially when you barely even get selected for respite before aging out of the system.”

Peter felt his heart breaking a little, learning about this part of Wade’s life in such a manner. But at the same kind, he felt warm that Wade went out of his way to make sure the kids currently in the system were having a better experience.

Diane, jaw set firmly, just quietly went to the end up the assembly line to help retie all the treat bags, now nearly overstuffed thanks to Wade’s contributions.

Once the bags were all caught up with the new additions, Wade went back to his original seat. He started putting in two candy bars with each toothbrush into every bag that Aunt May passed to him.

The former strict atmosphere was soon replaced by laughter as Wade started joking around with each of the elderly church ladies.

Peter felt himself blush as Wade leaned over and loudly asked, “Do you think I’d look as cute as Helen if I got a perm too?”

Thankfully, there was more laughter to make up for Peter’s inability to formulate a response.

At the end of the night, a few of the other ladies beckoned Wade over, and Peter knew he was about to get doted on, but decided not to warn him about it. Wade stood there looking back and forth before the elderly women and the last candy bar in his hand. He then slipped it into Peter’s shirt pocket, patting it a few times before saying, “Go buy yourself something nice, sweetheart.”

Peter just stares after Wade as he walks away, before snapping his head towards the sound of giggling next to him. Peter hated the knowing look Aunt May was giving him.

.end.


	12. Plan B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
5\. Wade forgot to buy candy for the trick-or-treaters.  
88\. “Wade, for the last time, you can’t remove your own limbs just to scare the trick-or-treaters.”

“Wait, what?”

“Did you, or did you not, get the candy for tonight like I asked you to THREE. DAYS. AGO.”

“Uh…”

“WADE?”

“No. No I did not.” Wade starts batting his eyes as Peter.

“Seriously?”

“Uh… slipped… my mind?”

“We’re going to have trick-or-treaters here any minute now!” With a heavy sigh, Peter says, “Going to the store. I’ll be back soon.”

Wade stands from his chair. “Wait, wait, wait! You don’t need to do all that.”

Peter just gives him a blank stare.

“Seriously! I mean, you see my face, we can easily scare the kids so bad they go running off before they can even get any candy!”

Peter shakes his head.

“Oh! I got it!” Wade rushes towards the nearest kitchen cabinet, reaching under it to grab a knife Peter hadn’t realized was stashed there. Wade makes a gesture with it, towards his own arm.

“Wade, for the last time, you can’t remove your own limbs just to scare the trick-or-treaters.”

“UGH! Every year you tell me that! Please, let me do it just once!”

“Why? So we have to pay for some kids therapy?” Peter turns towards the door to leave, but soon feels himself being pulled back into a familiar, warm embrace.

“Seriously, Webs, don’t go. We’ll just leave the porch light off and draw the curtains closed, so no one stops by. Then we can watch some horror movies. Or at least pretend to.”

Peter thought about it for a moment. He wasn’t _exactly_ sure what Wade meant by that, but…

“I’ll get the porch light while you get the curtains."

.end.


	13. Kid's Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
158\. Wade dares Peter to summon Bloody Mary - he’s too chicken to do it

“Please, I just wanna see if she’s real!”

“There’s no way Bloody Mary is real. It’s just some dumb kid’s game.”

Wade gives him a pleading look before it evolves into a wicked grin. “Oh. My. God. You’re scared, too, aren’t you!?”

“I am not!”

“Yes, you are!”

“Dude, I just don’t want to waste my time on a stupid game that isn’t even real.”

“Oh, whatever, you’re just-”

Peter suddenly stands, marching over to the bathroom. He shuts the door behind him without turning on the lights. He steps towards the mirror until he bumps into the sink.

“Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary.”

Peter waits, but as expected, nothing happens.

“Wade! Nothing happened!” Peter shouts, turning towards the door.

“Try again!”

Wade’s voice sounded far too close, but as he peeked outside, he couldn’t spot Wade. Peter shrugs, closing the door again to try once more.

“Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary.”

Peter counts to ten, then says, “Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, come on you dumb little-…HOLY SHIT!”

Peter stumbles back as he barely sees a face flicker into view into the mirror. Peter swallows harshly before murmuring, “B-bloody… Mary?”

The face becomes clearer, but also too familiar.

Peter struggles to control his breathing as he somehow manages to see a reflection in the dark, but not of himself. It’s of Wade. Except, it’s not the Wade he knows. This Wade has no scars, but there’s plenty of blood to take their place.

Peter slowly opens his mouth to speak, to ask Wade how he managed to pull of this trick, when the reflection speaks.

“Now, tell me, Why does everyone think my name is Mary?”

.end.


	14. Trick-or-Treat Delivery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
155\. Peter’s too sick to go out on Halloween so Deadpool keeps him company  
156\. Also brings him candy

Peter finishes typing up his text to Wade, explaining that his head cold ended up being the flu, so Wade’s going to have to go to the celebration at Sister Margaret’s without him. As soon as he hits send, he shoves his phone under his pillow, rolling over to get some rest.

As Peter was drifting off, he feels his phone buzz a few times. He figured it was Wade replying back to the cancelled plans. But between his guilt and his sickness, he couldn’t bring himself to check.

Peter was startled awake but a loud knock at the door. He opens his eyes and groans loudly, refusing to get up. The knock happens again, but this time, Peter recognizes the pattern. He barely feels his phone buzzing as he gets up and tries his best to rush to the door before Wade kicks it in or does somethings else almost as drastic.

Wade is standing there, talking on the phone, as Peter opens it. “Oh, wait, nevermind, you _are_ alive and I’m walking inside now… Hi!”

Wade steps through the threshold, pocketing his phone as best he can with all the bags in his arms.

“Did you seriously just leave me a voicemail?” Peter complained as he headed straight for the couch, grabbing a blanket before laying down.

“Yeah, why not?”

Peter hummed in response, watching Wade sitting the bags down onto the coffee table before gently lifting up Peter’s head and shoulders, sliding onto the couch and laying Peter’s head back down onto his lap. Wade ran his hand through Peter’s hair a few times before Peter finally realized the situation.

He sits up quickly, dizzying himself a little, before asking, “What are you doing here?”

“Came to keep you company on Halloween.”

“But I got the _flu_ and-”

“And I got such a kick-ass healing factor that if I had a 9-5 job, I’d never use my sick days for what they’re meant for.” Wade stands, grabbing a DVD off the table and heading towards the TV.

“Fine, but I’m still too sick to really do anything except blow my nose and fall asleep.”

“Think you can pencil in some ‘Corpse Bride’ and chicken noodle soup into your schedule?”

Peter grins at him, even though Wade had his back turned, still setting up for the movie. “You seriously brought me chicken noodle soup?”

Wade nods as he sits back down next to Peter. He starts pulling out to-go contained from one of the bags, followed by two handfuls of soy sauce, duck sauce, and some fortune cookies.

“Wade. This looks like Chinese take-out. Not chicken noodle soup.”

“It’s chicken chow mein and hot and sour soup. So, there’s chicken, noodles, and soup. Close enough.”

Peter shakes his head, but he’s grateful that he can now eat without having to cook for himself or deal with delivery.

As they watched the movie and ate, Peter was started to feel a bit better. Enough so that he finally noticed the cat ears headband that Wade was wearing. He poked at it before mumbling, “Cute.”

Wade gives him the side-eye, but Peter can see the blush forming on his cheeks. Peter then pokes at his checks the way he usually does before teasing him for being a blusher. However, before Peter’s taunts could escape his lips, Wade reaches for a bag on the table and tosses it onto Peter’s lap.

“Here. Medicate yourself.”

Peter gives him a confused look before opening the bag. There was medicine, vitamin C tablets, nasal spray, cough drops, and a few other items. Peter figured he was staring at the bag for too long, trying to figure out why Wade went through all this trouble, because Wade suddenly grabs the bag from Peter.

Wade struggles to pop a few pills out of the pouch, mumbling something about people weak with sickness never being able to take medicine because of this. He hands them to Peter, and that’s when he finally sees it. The worry on Wade’s face.

Peter smiles softly at him, taking the medicine and some vitamin C. He returns to his dinner before saying, “Thanks. I’m feeling better already.”

When Wade doesn’t reply, Peter glances over to see him smiling to himself as he struggles to use his chopsticks.

After their meal and the movie, Wade asks, “You sure you’re feeling a bit better?”

Peter nods, curling closer to Wade. “Of course. I’m fed and medicated. Soon I’ll be unstoppable.” He then gives a flat, evil laugh, causing Wade to chuckle.

“Well, think you can stop enough for another movie?”

Soon, Peter finds himself laying on the couch again, head back on Wade’s lap, as they watch ParaNorman. Not long after the movie starts, Wade grabs the last bag off the table, dumping it onto Peter as he shouts, “TRICK-OR-TREAT!”

Peter looks down at the candy strewn about his torso. Normally, he’d complain about the mess, but right now, there’s a fun-sized twix with his name on it.

Just before the big reveal in the movie, Peter feels his eyes become heavy, and he starts drifting off again. He can barely make out the sounds from the TV, slowly slipping back into some much needed rest. He feels Wade’s fingers slowly trail through his hair, but he’s too tired to do anything in response.

“Petey?”

Peter tries to hum a reply, but apparently no sound comes out when Wade speaks again.

“Peter?”

A few more seconds pass, Peter quickly drifting off in the meantime. Then Wade finally continues. “Was gonna ask you out at the party tonight, but I guess I can wait til you’re better… But don’t make me wait too long.”

.end.


	15. Soggy Bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
206\. Wade binge-watching Great British Bakeoff and texting Spiderman all his thoughts and feelings while Webs is just trying to give out candy while working on his thesis.

“And what are you supposed to be?”

Peter was taken aback by the question, his hand pausing as he dropped a few pieces of candy into the kid’s bucket.

“I uh…” Peter bit his tongue, struggling to come up with a better response than ‘a grad student currently contemplating the point of finishing school just to becomes a slave of the workforce.’

“You look like a hobo!” The kid declares before running off.

Peter looked down at his clothes. His sweater had a pizza stain on it, and his jeans were ripped, but he didn’t think it was enough to warrant such a comment.

“I told you, you should probably change,” Aunt May sing-songs. Peter turns towards the door, seeing her peek out at him through the screen door, grinning. “Hobo. Gotta remember to use that next time you-”

“Oh, whatever. Go inside before you catch another cold!” Peter started to stand, prompting her to scurry back inside and shut the door. Peter sat back down, ready to continue to work on his thesis as he handed out candy to trick-or-treaters so Aunt May didn’t have to sit out in the chill, risking more illness.

_That freaking _child _called me a _hobo_. The actual hell… I gotta tell Wade._

Peter starts patting around the table and his pockets, looking for his phone. He makes sure no kids are coming up the drive way before darting inside, quickly spotting it on the coffee table. As he heads back to his post, he unlocks his phone, a bit worried to see that he had missed a dozen texts from Wade.

_Wade_: Dude. Dude this show. This show is great!

_Wade_: God, I want a cake.

_Wade_: Petey. Baby. Plz bring me a cake.

_Wade_: Okay, liking the show a bit less now. Like, what’s the difference between a biscuit, a cracker, and a cookie, because it seems like the British are using those terms interchangeably.

_Wade_: I AM CONFUSION. ENGLAND EXPLAIN.

_Wade_: I think I once offed a “Florentine” but he wasn’t dipped in chocolate.

_Wade_: On your mark. Get set. BAKE!!!!!

_Wade_: Yes, yes, yes! Fuck yes! Bread is the bread of life!

_Wade_: I’m warning you right now that I’ll be saying Ciabatta a lot for the next week.

_Wade_: White bread, wheat bread, a flour tortilla shell from the food truck, it doesn’t matter. CIABATTA, BABY!

_Wade_: Prove the dough properly, you dumb bitch!

_Wade_: Man I can stare into Paul’s baby blues forever.

Peter wasn’t sure what to make of it, so he sends a message, asking Wade directly.

_Wade_: Watching the Great British Baking Show, bb.

Peter sends a quick text letting him know that he’s working on his thesis while handing out candy, so his replies might be few and far in between. But knowing Wade, that wouldn’t matter. Now that Wade knows Peter has seen his messages, the commentary is just going to increase. And it did. Peter had originally missed a dozen text in three hours, but now he’s missed a lot more in under one hour.

_Wade_: FUCK YES! DESSERT WEEK!

_Wade_: BRING ON THE DIABETES!

_Wade_: On your mark, get set, BAKE!

_Wade_: SAUCY PUDS

_Wade_: Self-saucing puds… don’t need no man… they can sauce themselves.

_Wade_: Wasn’t saucy enough. What a damn shame.

_Wade_: Oh my god. I’m not a baker but I know your setting your tiramisu up for failure if you’re soaking them that much.

_Wade_: I can guarantee at least 3 “Soggy Bottom” comments.

_Wade_: But I’m secretly hoping for more.

_Wade_: Hehehehe

_Wade_: Soggy Bottom

_Wade_: Judge me if you want, but Mary Berry is scrumptious herself.

_Wade_: Oof. Yeah. She can totally get it.

_Wade_: Oh, hell, yes. BAKED. ALASKA.

_Wade_: Petey. Why didn’t you tell me Baked Alaska had nothing to do with weed?

_Wade_: I’ve seen Dame Mary drink, but I was looking forward to seeing her with some pot-brownie-like reaction.

Peter shook his head, before sending a reply. Instead of getting another message, his phone starts ringing. Peter answers, and before he can put the phone to his ear, Wade starts rambling.

“PETEY PETEY PETEY. You will not believe the shit that just went down! Oh my god! The fucking ice cream in the trash bin and they fucking offed him instead of the bitch that took his ice cream out and-”

“Wade, woah, slow down. Are you still talking about that British… Baking… whatever?”

“The Great British Baking Show. Get it right. And yes, I am. There’s was baked Alaska _sabotage_! Oh, wait, sorry… are you still working on your thesis and shit?”

Peter looked back at his laptop. He had just finished a section, only having written the header for the next one. Between that and the almost empty candy bowl, he figured it was a good stopping point for the night.

“I’m at Aunt May’s if you wanna come over so we can watch the sabotage together.”

“SERIOUSLY!?” Peter grinned at how excited Wade sounded. “You sure you don’t need to work on your thesis some more.”

“I’m good. Besides, Aunt May made pie and-”

“Should have started with that! Be there in five!”

Wade immediately hangs up. Peter laughs softly to himself before packing up to go inside and warn Aunt May about the impending Wade and baking show binge that’s about to occur.

.end.


	16. Sweet Exchange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
34\. “I swear if I get one more fucking piece of black licorice…”  
127\. The both of them sitting in Wade's apartment trading candy after a night of patrolling

Peter yawns as he shifts through his bag of candy, looking for another Milky Way. When he finds one, he hands over his little stack of candy to Wade, who passes him all the skittles his has.

Once Wade drops the Milky Way bars into his keep piled, he stretches, his back loudly popping.

“Oof. Man, that a rough night. Didn’t think we’d be so busy on patrol.”

Peter shrugs, looking through his bag for more candy they could trade. “It’s Halloween. Like you weren’t as bad as those kids when you were younger.”

“Oh, no, I wasn’t!”

Peter gives him the side eye.

“I was _worse_!”

Peter snorts a laugh just as Wade flings a piece of candy across the room. “I swear if I get one more fucking piece of black licorice…”

“Dude. Just don’t eat it.”

“That’s not the point. Only a true heathen would pass out black licorice on Halloween. I know the phrase is ‘trick or treat’ but that goes far beyond a trick.”

Peter thinks about it for a minute, noticing how Wade’s bag was half as full as his, something he worried about when people hesitated on giving him candy once seeing his face, realizing it wasn’t a mask.

“Well, I like black licorice.”

Wade looked at him like he sprouted a second head.

“Seriously, I…” Peter started pulling pieces of candy out of his bag, all the name brand ones he knows Wade likes. With both hands full of candy, he extends his arms out towards Wade and says, “I’ll trade you, piece for piece.”

Wade gives him a wary look before grinning broadly. He starts tossing pieces of black licorice into Peter’s keep pile, taking a piece of candy form Peter’s hand each time. He double checked his bag, finding one last piece. As he tossed it at Peter, snatching a Reese’s from him, he shouted, “Sucka!”

Peter simply shook his head and gave a breathy laugh.

Once the candy was divided and traded, they decided to go to Sister Margaret’s to see who was still lingering after their Halloween Bash. They make it there before last call, managing to get a drink.

Wade quickly downs it before excusing himself to the restroom. As he returns, he sees that Peter has his candy bag with him, having placed it on the bar. He inches closer, eavesdropping on his conversation with Weasel.

“Seriously. You can take it all,” Peter says, hastily pushing the bag towards Weasel.

“You sure?” Weasel asked, already pulling out pieces of candy.

“Of course! Only a weirdo like you would like black licorice. I can’t stand the stuff.”

Wade steps back into the shadows, thinking about how Peter had traded him for the black licorice when he had enough sense, more than Weasel, to know it was garbage. We waits until Peter tucks the bag away before returning to the bar.

He’s still not sure why Peter would do something like that. But he does know he’s tired of Weasel asking him why he keeps grinning at Peter.

.end.


	17. Those Type of Customers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
219\. Peter raging at the Christmas decorations for sale before Thanksgiving has even happened.

“Seriously!?”

Wade gives Peter a confused look before asking, “What are you talking about?”

Peter gestures angrily at the display of nutcrackers before saying, “Why do they have to put this mess up before Thanksgiving. Come on, now! We haven’t even had Halloween, yet! Why can’t we enjoy the next holiday in peace before they start shoving the next seven holidays in our faces!?”

Wade struggled to suppress his laughter, never seeing Peter so upset about something he himself found so inconsequential.

As they continued to wander through the store, Peter got increasingly annoyed at all the holiday decorations that weren’t for Halloween.

After a while, Wade snuck off, leaving Peter to shop by himself. Within a few minutes, Peter texted him asking him where he was at. But Wade couldn’t tell him. Instead, he just replied back, telling Peter to continue shopping and that he’ll come find him when he’s ready.

Wade continued working on his little project, only stopping when he hears Peter’s voice.

“What the hell are you doing!?”

Wade spins around, fake bats in both hands. “I’m fixing the forced holiday décor problem.”

Wade watches at Peter inches forward, squinting at the display stand. Peter can barely make out the pile of nutcrackers haphazardly pushed together, since they were covered by what appeared to be whatever Halloween decoration Wade could get his hands on.

Peter sighs heavily, pulling the fake bats from Wade’s hands and tossing them onto the pile without looking. He then grabs Wade’s hand and rushes them towards the front door of the store.

“Let’s get out of here before you get us banned from another store.”

.end.


	18. From Busan to Ramos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
29\. Old vs new zombie movies (there IS a correct answer)  
45\. Wade’s scared of horror films.

As another passenger was devoured on the screen, Wade curled up against Peter more.

“Dude, are you scared?”

“No,” Wade replied weakly.

Peter pauses the movie before looking over at Wade. “You totally are! Why did you agree to watch ‘Train to Busan’ with me if you’re scared of horror films?”

Wade looks sheepishly away before shrugging, not saying a word in response for once.

Peter shakes his head. “I can’t believe it. Bad-ass merc afraid of-”

“Hey now!” Wade snaps his head back towards Peter. “Brutal zombie attacks and shooting a bad guy are two completely different things!”

“Uh huh, sure.” Peter rolled his eyes mockingly.

“Besides, I thought it was going to be one of those slow-paced Zombie films. There’s no way those can be scary. You can easily fight them off or outrun them.”

“No, no, no, those are a completely different kind of scary. Fast zombie are your typical monster movie kind of scary. But the OG scary zombie movie involved slow zombies which brings an even scarier element to the typical monster movie mix. The whole doom and despair of the struggle to fight againt the inevitable end of human society.”

When Wade gave him a confused look, Peter replayed the conversation in his head, realizing another fun fact about him. “You’ve never even seen a slow zombie movie, have you?”

“I’ve watched most of one.”

Peter unpaused ‘Train to Busan’ before sitting back properly on the couch again. He extends his arm, putting it around Wade and pulling him closer. Wade hesitates at first, but quickly cuddles up against his side.

“We’re going to finish this film and then watch ‘Night of the Living Dead’ or some other Ramos film, cool?”

Wade hesitates before replying. “Only if you spend the night.” Peter feels his face start to flush, his mind immediately going to the most lustful of places before Wade continues with, “If I’m going to have nightmares, you’d better be there next to me.”

Peter squeezes Wade’s shoulder briefly before saying, “Of course. Whatever you need to be educated on zombie films.”

Wade snorts out a laugh before yelping at the next jump-scare.

With every flinch and yelp and turning his eyes away from the screen, Peter is tempted to tease Wade about being scared of horror movies. But he can’t. Not with Wade pressing closer to him than ever before.

Peter finds himself struggling to make it through the second film, his focus far from zombies. Wade, however, is transfixed, but clearly still scared.

Later that night, as Wade was crawling into bed, Peter finds himself feeling a bit like a hypocrite. Wade was clearly scared of some films that were meant to be scary, but Peter was now scared of being in a whole new situation. Sleeping next to Wade for the first time.

He swallows a lump in his throat as he inches closer to the bed, not sure what’s expected of him, what will happen that night, and if this is going to have any impact on their bromance that he really wishes was more like a romance.

Wade watches him uneasily and Peter finds himself stalling even more, worried that Wade might have changed his mind.

“That’s really fucked up. You’re an asshole.”

Peter stops in his tracks. “W-w-what!?”

“You’re clearly doing that whole slow zombie walk thing.”

“Uh… yeah… you’re right. Sorry.”

“Asshole.”

Peter shrugs, closing the distance and slipping into bed. “That I am.”

Wade immediately snuggles close, wrapping an arm around Peter.

“We’re all gonna die.”

Peter turns his head towards Wade. “The hell?”

“Slow zombie movies. Yeah, scary monsters, no cure, all that jazz. But also, they got that whole ‘we’re all gonna die’ element to them that the fast zombie movies manage to lack.”

“Glad to see you know which one is better now.”

Wade nods before mumbling, “We’re all gonna die.”

“Wade. Shut it. No one is gonna die. We’re just going to get some shut-eye before going out for pancakes in the morning.”

“Hell, yeah,” Wade murmurs as he gently kisses Peter, lips barely brushing.

Peter was surprised at how quickly Wade had managed to fall asleep, especially after all that talk about being scared and having nightmares. Peter on the other hand was struggling to fall asleep.

_I wonder if Wade’s heart was pounding this badly during the movie._

.end.


	19. Jack-o'-Lantern Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
235\. Wade carves a pumpkin with the words, 'Spidey's Boyfriend,' and leaves it on his porch. Spidey shows up with a series of questions. 

Wade typically hates anyone who knocks on his door, but he was beyond excited to see everyone’s favorite neighborhood hero standing there instead.

“Webs! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“What’s the meaning of that?” Spidey asked, voice tinged with annoyance as he pointed to the pumpkins on the porch.

“Oh, those? Those are called Jack-o’-lanterns. It’s a tradition dating back to-”

“You know what I mean! The carving!”

Wade cocks his head to the side, pretending to puzzle out Peter’s exasperated statement. “Oh! The _carving_! Yes, yes. I understand what you mean. But don’t worry if your Jack-o’-Lanterns are a little wonky. You gotta understand I’m used to the blade so-”

“Wade!”

Peter groans loudly as he turns, squatting down to pick up a pumpkin. He stands, turning towards Wade, who can’t help but glance down at the pumpkin and grin at the carving.

_SPIDEY’S  
BOYFRIEND_

With a tired but still annoyed voice, Peter asks again, “What’s the meaning of this?”

“Exactly what it says, I’m Spidey’s boyfriend. Wait, no, it doesn’t specify that it’s me. Is that why you’re confused? You thought the pumpkin was declaring itself as your boyfriend? I mean-”

Peter sits the pumpkin down before pushing past Wade to step inside his home. As soon as the door was shut, he takes off his mask and runs a hand over his face. “Wade, why do you keep messing with me like this? It’s not very nice to-”

“NO! No, I’m not messing with you, I’m… It’s just positive thinking. If I keep saying it enough it might really happen one day, or something like that.”

Peter considers him for a moment, trying to determine if this was yet another joke or if Wade really had interest in dating him.

“So, any chance that pumpkin might be true?”

Peter rolled his eyes at the way Wade clasped his hands together and gave him a pleading look. Peter slips his mask back on and turned back towards the door. “I gotta go back out on patrol.”

“But what about-”

“However, I’m free this Saturday if you wanna go catch a movie.”

Peter rushed out the door, pointedly ignoring Wade’s loud onslaught of questions punctuated by loud cheering.

.end.


	20. Not Accurate Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
89\. Peter enters a Spiderman lookalike contest.  
90\. The above, but he loses.  
91\. To Deadpool

When Peter saw the sign offering a $100 grand prize, he knew he couldn’t stay out of the Spider-Man lookalike contest. He’s seen such contests before, and in good conscious couldn’t bring himself to participate. But once he saw that the prize was not some lame coupon to a local pizzeria, he knew he had to join and win.

_Besides, the entry fee goes to local charities. So, I’m doing philanthropy while also earning some more money to finally ask Wade out on a date. It’s a win-win!_

Before the event, Peter donned his best suit, taking time to make sure it was completely free of debris, dirt, and blood. Once done, he sends a text to Wade, asking him how he felt about Benihana before heading down to win the Spider-Man lookalike contest.

Peter remained frozen on stage, unable to clap or depart like the rest of the ones who didn’t win, when he heard the announcement.

“And the winner is… CONTESTANT NUMBER 3!”

_Three? THREE!? But… but I’m contestant number 25. There’s no way…_

Peter stares as the winner skips towards the front, clapping happily as he accepts his prize. Peter stares at the suit, noting how strangely similar it was to his own, but with the added flashy accents around the emblem, and the-

_Those boots! It can’t fucking be-_

The winner bows a few times for the audience before spinning back around, scanning the line-up of Spider-Mans behind him. He passes over Peter before quickly turning back staring at him as he marched straight towards him.

The man stands far too close to Peter before he says, “Webs?”

Peter instinctively shakes his head, but then winner leans forward, looking behind Peter. He soon leans back away from him, nodding. “Yup. That’s definitely Web’s booty.”

Peter yanks his mask up, hissing. “Wade. What the hell are you doing here?”

Wade waves the prize in his hand. “Thought it’ll be funny if I won this, given my knowledge of Spider-Man and what I intent to use this money for.”

“What, uh… what are you going to use the money for?”

“Well, that depends on if you’re free this weekend.”

“Huh?”

“Judging from that text, I’m assuming you like Benihana.”

Peter felt himself blushing as Wade pulls up his mask to smirk at him. He only manages a nod.

“Good. Then it’s a date” Wade winks at him, turning away before Peter could respond with more than just a broad grin.

.end.


	21. Love Cats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
123\. Peter with kitty ears. 

As soon as the door opens, Peter steps inside and says, “You got any costumes I can borrow?”

“Uh, why would I-”

Peter spins around and snarks, “Dude. I’ve seen your half-assed attempts to dressed up. Over your normal suit. I know you got costumes, and I need one.”

Wade shrugs. “Alright. Fair.” He leads the way to the spare bedroom where he stores all his extra supplies for missions. “But what do you need a costume for?”

“If I wear a costume to class, I’ll get extra credit. But I’ve been so busy I kinda forgot how soon Halloween was and now I only got a half-hour to-”

“Sure, sure. Here.” Wade opens the closet and steps back, allowing Peter to search through everything.

“Why is there so much frill?”

“Cause a girl’s gotta feel cute sometimes, okay?”

Peter rolls his eyes and pushes the dresses aside, one of them falling off a hanger. As he goes to pick it up, he knocks off the lid to a box, realizing there’s more costume supplies inside. He starts digging through that, Wade not really concerned until Peter shouts, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Wade stares at him as Peter bends his head down, placing something on it, then standing up suddenly and spinning around towards Wade. He points up at the hairband he was now wearing.

“Cat ears? Seriously, Wade? When did you have to dress like a cat?”

“When I was in a band.”

Peter’s smile flinches a little. “Wait, you were in a band? And had to dress like a cat?”

“I didn’t _have to dress like a cat_, but I did wear the cat ears because it fit our aesthetic.”

Peter quirked an eyebrow at him.

“We were a Cure cover band. The-”

“Love Cats,” both men said in unison.

Peter adjusts his cat ears headband as he laughs. “Man, nah, I firmly believe you dressed like a cat and are now making up some Cure band to cover it up.”

Wade saunters closer, grabbing Peter by the hips as he says, “Well, considering the fact that cats don’t wear clothes, if I were to dress like a cat I’d be-”

Peter pecks him on the lips before pushing his hands away. “Not now. I got class.” He looks down at his watch and hisses. “Shoot. And way too soon.”

Peter turns back towards the closet and starts searching for a costume. He quickly spots a trench coat and hat, pulling them out and saying, “Cool! I can totally pull off the detective look. Wait, do you think Spidey should start dressing up like a-no, nevermind, class!”

Peter thanks Wade for the costume before he bolts out of the house.

Wade simply locks up after him before going back to lounging across the couch and playing video games.

“Man, he’s gonna feel so dumb when he realizes he just raced to class while still wearing those cat ears.”

.end.


	22. First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
13\. Peter finds out Wade had never celebrated Halloween before.  
33\. Pumpkin carving  
146\. "November 1st is my favorite day because that's when all the good candy goes on sale"  
180\. Wade and Peter fight over the last Snickers

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

“I’m serious. The closest I ever came to celebrating Halloween was when the teacher would bring candy to class. That was it. Oh, and one year I drew red stripes on my shirt and tried to make an eyepatch, so I can be dressed like a pirate. Mom was not too happy about the red ink and her favorite skirt being cut up.”

Peter shook his head. “I really can’t believe it.”

“Besides, November 1st is my favorite day because that's when all the good candy goes on sale.”

“You’re breaking my heart.”

Wade shrugs. “It’s not that serious. I mean, it’s just a bunch of kids acting a fool and eating candy one night a year before the adults resume yelling at them for doing exactly that any other time of year.”

“So you never went trick-or-treating?”

“Nope.”

“Carved a pumpkin?”

“Never.”

“Alright. We’re fixing this,” Peter declares, standing up and heading out.

“Uh, don’t you think we’re a little too old to trick-or-treat?”

“Of course, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the experience is off limits. Go buy some candy to give out to trick-or-treaters and meet me at my place in an hour.”

Peter returns from running his errands to find Wade standing by his door, carrying several bags. “Dude. I said to get candy to hand out, not clear out the entire store.”

“Don’t sass. I’m a trick-or-treat virgin. Gotta be a bit gentler with me and communicate more.”

Peter rolled his eyes but felt his ears heat a little at the thought of being gentle with a virgin Wade. They lay their supplies out across the kitchen counter while Peter places a few pumpkins on the kitchen table.

“The kids aren’t going to start showing up until this evening, so we have plenty of time for this,” Peter announces, walking past the pumpkins and gesturing towards them like he was Vanna White.

“What? Pumpkin modeling?”

Peter glares at him as he lets his arms fall limply to his side. “No. Carving pumpkins. Making Jack-o’-lanterns. That.”

Wade shrugs and take a seat at the table, immediately trying to carve out an eye.

“Dude, wait, stop! You got to gut it first!”

Wade pulls his knife out of the pumpkin and gives Peter a smirk. “And you say I talk like a mercenary too much.”

For the next hour, Peter helps Wade gain the pumpkin carving experience Peter grew up with, cleaning out a pumpkin together, and letting Wade carve it as he places the seeds on a baking tray to roast. As Wade begins on the next pumpkin, Peter quickly sneaks out his phone and sends a text asking Aunt May for the pumpkin seed recipe.

Once the jack-o’-lanterns were on the porch, Peter made Wade help up string up the fake cobwebs. Within minutes, Wade was cursing in frustration.

“What’s the deal with this shit? It sticks to everything but the things it’s supposed to stick to.”

Peter laughs at him. “That’s part of the Halloween experience.”

Wade angrily tries stretching out the fake cobweb over the porchlight again. “Fuck this. Halloween is cancelled. Let’s just skip to National Discount Candy Day. Wait, no, not good enough… Give me a fucking turkey so we can start Thanksgiving instead.”

Peter snorts out a laugh, attempted to help a fluster Wade finish decorating the porch. Once done, Wade turns towards Peter and asks, “Now what?”

Peter shrugs. “Still a bit early for trick-or-treaters, but we can get some dinner to kill time.”

As Peter calls in their Chinese order, he watches Wade munch on the pumpkin seeds, his eyes constantly going back and forth between the tray of cooling seeds and the bags still left on the counter. He knew Wade was using every bit of his strength to hold back from rifling through the bags himself.

Once Peter hung up the phone, he walks over to towards the bag and says, “Wanna see what costumes I bought for us?”

“OH! Did you get me a Spidey-costume!?”

Peter freezes, giving him a blank stare. “Why, so you can rip a hole in it trying it on, like you did my real suit?”

Wade gives him a sheepish glance.

“No, it’s something better.”

“I seriously doubt that. There’s nothing better than getting to pretend to be Spider-Man for-OH MY GOD! That _is_ better!”

Peter peeked over the costume to grin at Wade.

“Tony is going to be _so pissed_ to see me dressed like him!”

Peter felt a little guilty buying an Iron Man suit for Wade, knowing it’s just going to add to their already strained relationship, but he figured it would be worth it for the sake of Wade’s first Halloween.

Wade immediately starts stripping down to try on the suit.

“Dude. The trick-or-treaters won’t-”

“Don’t care! I need it on! NOW!”

Peter shrugged, glad Wade was getting more and more excited about the Halloween activities. Though he’d much rather have Wade keep the costume clean instead of accidentally spilling soy sauce on it and then saying, “Jarvis, will this stain?”

That evening, they sat out on the porch to hand candy out to trick-or-treaters, Wade dressed as Iron Man while Peter dressed as Thor. At one point, Peter picked up a new grocery bag of candy to refill the bowl, and found it full of full-sized candy bars and bags of beef jerky.

“Wade, we can’t give this out to kids. It’ll be-”

“Oh, no, that was for me,” Wade said, pulling a Snickers out of the bag. “Well, us, if you want any. Kiddos get the tiny candies, us big guys get the big stuff.”

Peter shrugged, helping himself to one of the candy bars.

It doesn’t take long until they finish giving out all the candy, Wade only tearing off his mask twice to scare some children.

“Welp, guess we can go inside now and watch some Halloween films until we pass out.”

“Sounds good!” Wade said, reaching into the only bag left just as Peter does.

They both pull their hands out, gripping the same candy bar. They peek back into the bag and notice there wasn’t another one left. Normally, Peter would just let Wade have it, but he suddenly remembers fighting over candy with his friends way back in the day, and tugs the candy bar towards him. Wade glares as he tugs back. Soon, they’re both pulling on it, crushing it in their hands, and exchanging a few taunts until Wade starts bribing him.

“I’ll let you pick the movie tonight.”

“I was going to do that anyways,” Peter retorts, yanking on the candy bar.

“I’ll do whatever other holiday traditions you want.”

“Eh, not that serious now that you’ve finally experienced Halloween.”

Wade tugs on the candy bar a few times before finally saying, “How about I let you kiss me?”

Peter stares at him for a moment, then lets go of the Snickers.

Wade’s eyes go wide. “Seriously?”

Peter answers him, but with a soft and lingering kiss on the lips.

.end.


End file.
